October 4, 2013 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, Starbucks announced they will be offering a Braille gift card year-round. Which may explain why I saw a guy trying to use his Starbucks card at a Home Depot yesterday. 2. Israel said...
View ArticleNovember 12, 2013 – Monologue Jokes
1. A new study suggests, poor young women are more likely to delay going to the doctor when they find a breast lump than women in better financial situations. Although maybe you’re financial situation...
View ArticleDecember 4, 2013 – Monologue Jokes
1. House Speaker John Boehner rejected the label that this is a “do nothing” session of Congress, telling reporters Tuesday on Capitol Hill, “we’ve done our work.” Really? What about that time you...
View ArticleDecember 11, 2013 – Monologue Jokes
1. Three New York courts have rejected one group’s legal effort to grant captive chimpanzees the same rights as a legal person. Looking back on it, it may have been a mistake to let the monkey...
View ArticleDecember 27, 2013 – Monologue Jokes
1. A new study suggests that one of the most common types of knee surgeries in the U.S. is no more effective than fake surgeries. Which is great news, because of the two procedures, only fake surgeries...
View ArticleJanuary 22, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Monday, Olympic track legend Carl Lewis said back in 2011 when he was mulling over a run at a New Jersey state senate seat, Governor Chris Christie attempted to dissuade him by saying the fitness...
View ArticleMarch 28, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. A New Jersey man who was released last week after fifteen years in prison for robbing a shoe store was arrested the next day for robbing the exact same store. But, in the man’s defense, the sign...
View ArticleSeptember 2, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Beatles star Paul McCartney became the latest high-profile figure to sign a letter calling on Scottish voters to chose to remain part of the United Kingdom in a vote on independence next month. Said...
View ArticleSeptember 19, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, Larry Ellison, the world’s fifth richest person, worth $51 billion, announced he is retiring as CEO of Oracle, the company he founded in 1977. Ellison decided to step down when he...
View ArticleJune 10, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new survey, half of the apartment complexes in close range to two Texas Universities offer free, on-site, indoor tanning beds. When tanning expert Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was asked...
View ArticleJuly 21, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Monday, gold prices plunged more than 4 percent to a new five-year low. As a result, King Midas has gone back to stripping. 2. Last week, Intuit, the makers of TurboTax, told users they have...
View ArticleDecember 1, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. The skull of the black bear that inspired the children’s books “Winnie-the-Pooh” has gone on display for the first time ever at the London Zoo. So, if you’re children love Winnie-the-Pooh and you...
View ArticleMarch 29, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to researchers, something about Republican front-runner Donald Trump, his face, voice or message, generates “increased brain activity” amongst viewers. “Oh, is that what that new feeling...
View ArticleJune 3, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. All four cities vying to host the 2024 Olympic games have advanced to the next stage of campaigning as the International Olympic Commission found no major flaws in their bids. That story again, all...
View ArticleSeptember 29, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Tuesday, the price of gold went down and the value of the Mexican peso went up. And you thought Donald Trump had a rough Monday. 2. There’s a new brand of coffee that promises to give men...
View ArticleOctober 26, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to reports, before the last presidential debate in Las Vegas, many of Donald Trump’s advisors went to a strip club. Many, but not all: 2. On Monday, President Obama said he has seen the...
View ArticleApril 28, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. In her new tell-all book, Caitlyn Jenner said she knew that O.J. Simpson was guilty. When told of the comment, O.J., who has been in jail for the past ten years, said, “Bruce did what!?!” 2....
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